I'll preface this as this is aimed at everyone. This isn't aimed at Tormak, or Won, or whomever you will want to make it seem like I'm 'cleverly going after without naming names..' because I'm not, this is aimed towards You. Yes You. This is about You, Me, and IT. Now that I have made that clear, we can continue.




You play here, and love it here, and whatever the reason you're here thats great, I'm glad people are here. If you want to see Amia here tomorrow, next month, next year, it is time to start changing some things. No one else can do it for you, we all have to do it ourselves.

So what is 'IT'? IT is complicated. At the same time IT is the community, the people, the other players, the module, the server, the staff, the forum, the things surrounding 'IT' in a nebula... All of this is part of IT; and IT -is- Amia as a concept. If you want IT to be better, if you love IT you -should- want it to be better... you're part of IT, logically should wish to improve yourself as well.

if you truly do love Amia. You need to be understanding of others in our community, tollerant of difference in every way, in and out of game, in character and out, understanding people make mistakes. Allowing different spins on the status quo, allowing it to be mixed up and mashed in a giant melting pot of gooey awesomeness. That allowing of difference is what made Amia, and what will keep her going. IT has made the glue that which Amia endures with. Glue dries, then cracks under strain, stress, pressure, but if we have more glue whenever needed it is no longer an issue. We're running low on glue these days though.. and we can't exactly buy a giant new bottle at Costco, NWN is an old game.

Nasty reactions towards others seem to be the daily special on the forums these days, jumping like a pack of ravenous hyenas to rend something apart in some glorious bloody feast of Asshattery; like a ritualistic contest to who's the biggest douche and whom ever is the biggest douche Wins the Miter and the Giant Chrome Phallic-staff from which the Hallowed Gilded Douchbag of Judgement dangles from. This is like tossing a big bag of dog crap into the stew. No one wants to live with or eat of a pot of stewed dog crap.

DO you think the people who donate the time to moderate, build, upkeep, balance, and keep all of this in line and working order enjoy playing mommy-daddy games and seeing that strife stuff? Hell no they don't.
They do it because even as big and bad and surly as some may seem, they do it because they care about IT. You may or may not be able to see that, or come to the realization, or see the insights to why or how come, and it may be a total and complete affront to what you think possible, but they would not be here if they did not -REALLY- care about IT. If they, didn't want to try to keep it going. You can't PAY people to put heart into something like that to deal with it.

It's a stressful situation that people put them into. Its Customer service, with no paycheck. Would you do that? Fuck no. Would I? No. Do they? Yes. Maybe you should start thinking about all the effort they put in, just to log in, and deal with this crap that gets festered about because you refuse to grow up and be civil about things, to check yourself. It's a selfish and destructive thing to do to IT.

This behaviour destroys their drive. It makes them sad, it breaks them. They just want to help, and you keep doing nothing but hurting that. It does hurt IT. They shouldn't have to deal with it. You should be thanking your lucky stars that there are people here that have enough love, and drive for the community to walk in and say, hey, please take a big fat dump on my face. Then tell me what a shitty job I did of letting you take dump all over my face.

Its time to grow up and start acting like adults, even if you're not one yet. Stop feeding the fires, and start stomping them out; starting with yourself. Be helpful when you can, not snarky. AND MAYBE. JUST MAYBE.. They might be able to enjoy their jobs more, and we might be able to enjoy ourselves more here..and they'll actually be able to have fun, tell stories, and do events instead of being subjected to shampooing the mess from our poo flinging matches out of the carpet.

I can tell you one thing for sure, it's a whole hell of a lot easier to spread the negativity than to be the backstopper that eats it. To be the person that says, "You know what screw this. Screw it. I'm not going to let them screw Amia up." and just stop it, and take it and just let it be. Be the bigger person. Thats what we need more of. All the effort it takes is you to stop doing it. It can stop with you. Take the bullet, and let it die there. Start behaving like decent human beings to one another, showing a little bit of self respect and respect for your peers, even if it might seem someone has none for you. Let bygones be bygones, and stop poking the badger, here, in game, in PM's on MSN, whatever, just check it, check yourself, if you really want Amia to have a future and you really do have passion for -Amia- you have to do this. Can you do it? I dunno, thats something you have to find out for yourself.

I love Amia and I want it to be here for those that do too in the future, and for those who haven't discovered it to have a chance to love it too. I want to stop seeing the flack and fallout that this stuff causes.. its toxic. and it seeps everywhere. Just let it roll like water over your back, it can stop. Like Ghandi said.. 'No one can hurt me without my permission.' ..means exactly that.

That stuff can just go away. Just ignore it. Let it be. Is it easy to do that? Hell no, thats why Ghandi was Ghandi. Can we try to do it and be better human beings to one another? I hope so for the future of Amia, because that's what it'll take to make sure she's still here. I've started with me some time ago. My advice to you is to start with you.

Edit: (advice to you IS TO start with you. I fail English.)

_________________
Dwagin [Duh-wa-GIN] N. - 1a. Small and cute thingum, particularly fond of four legged scaled creatures of the metalic and chromatic varieties.

-Extraordinarily ordinary in the mostest of ways.

Short and Sweet Limited Attention span version:

If you like it here and want Amia to have a future: Grow up. Stop Pooing in the pool. Stop making the DM's job hell. It's what I try to avoid doing, I think you should do the same. thx bai.

_________________
Dwagin [Duh-wa-GIN] N. - 1a. Small and cute thingum, particularly fond of four legged scaled creatures of the metalic and chromatic varieties.

-Extraordinarily ordinary in the mostest of ways.

Well written Dwagin.

_________________
--MAINS--
Xanon .: Talonite!
Xiladei .: Amethyst Dragon Disciple.
Ryth .: Returning Elven Archer. Missing for some time.

Very well written indeed. I have seen other servers fail for the very same reasons of asshatery (love that word btw). In fact, the first server I ever played this game on, and my first experiance as a DM, tumbled and fell from on high. Because of all the negativity, the server no longer exists. Amia is mine home now, and as such I will do anything in my power to see it not get burned to the ground. I believe that Dwagin has the right idea to prevent such a fire. So please, I urge you all, heed this persons advice.

In the last couple of days I've been doing my part by not playing at all, which is arguably for the best.

However this post makes me feel the same way as when I pull up to a four-way stop at the same time as someone else, and instead of going they start waving their arm frantically from their driver seat, motioning for me to go through. And I sit there looking at them thinking "Why? Why don't YOU go through? And what on Earth gives you the right to direct traffic from the comfort of your driver's seat? Who ARE you anyways? And why are you so pissed off, yet feel the need to do the world a favour by DIRECTING TRAFFIC FROM YOUR CAR!?"

This is obviously a touchy subject for me. But I'm also going to do my part, for good or for ill, by not being directed by the instruction of random pharisees on the forum.

_________________
"When somebody headbutts, everybody looses."

I just want to say that this wall of text is exactly what I think about every time I see jerk-ish replies to questions or thoughts here and there. The attitude in itself is extremely counter-productive and I wish everyone could realize that. In some instances I believe it has even been confused with "not sugarcoating or babysitting anyone's feelings/ego". Well, not only is it not sugarcoating but is downright upsetting, in some cases. There's a firm line between expressing your honest opinion and being a jerk while doing it. See veiled jabs at intellect and others for reference.

Even so, the general feel of this community is civilized and considerate, even if the occasional hurtful remark is thrown in by someone. From what I have seen, most misunderstandings and confrontations come from lack of knowledge. Be it lore, science or general no role-play experience or even personality issues arise during discussion. As Dwagin pointed out, this shouldn't be the case.

Behind every player and DM there is a person with feelings, morals, beliefs and a personality. Inevitably, there collide and bring forth negativity and bitterness. People try to cheat or keep DMs up to standards they wouldn't normally keep another human being. It's easy to accuse but hard to look at your own actions in turn, and instead of asking for more, ask what you can do to make things better.

I mean, is it really that hard, sometimes, to refrain from a making a hurtful comment aimed at someone whose personal situation you don't know anything about? Maybe some are less bothered by it, maybe some think they are entitled to such a stance, but in the end it would definitely be better to offer an example of remarkable behavior instead of falling into the same generic irritated reply to whatever the problem in discussion is.

Studies have shown that people respond to expectations and their very behavior is influenced by how you perceive them to be. If you treat somebody like an idiot, chances are, they're going to instinctively respond to that expectation of yours and be an idiot. If you treat them as a respectable member of the community, they will subconsciously try to better fulfill the role you have set up for them. This all happens at a subliminal level few are conscious of.

So treat everyone as you yourself wish to be treated. Ask not for what you can't give and don't expect others to be better and more efficient at what they're doing than you yourself are or could be in their position. You can always expect them to need a guiding hand, a word, some encouragement and some positive feedback. If all you can do is criticize you'll lower morale, deplete resources and get worse results every time, give or take a negative attitude on top.

Be better than politicians!

_________________
Get Ready for It
Forum lurker.

This is very true. Also very difficult to do sometimes.

The very same behaviour pattern and vicious circle has been attributed to the despair and poverty of Africa by the economist Dambisa Moyo. To quote her radical ideas (not to the letter), "As long as Africans and African governments are treated like children, they have permission to behave like children, irresponsibly."

I mention that to put things into perspective. We're talking of things even the best diplomats and policy makers have failed to find a solution to. But I think we got better chances as there's far less of us.

Hmm.. I agree to some points, but sometimes it is needed that some matters are pointed out, no matter how hurtful they might be. This allows the improvement of the subject. Tormak, I believe, is a good example on this one. He says what needs to be said, no matter how hurtful it might be. But in the end, he means good with it.

I myself, however, thought when I saw your topic name and read your writing, "Please not again one of these..." Well perhaps it was needed to be pointed out.

Anyhow, I hope this works. *Thumps up*

_________________
http://www.d20srd.org/indexes/spells.htm

I don’t think this is about Tormak at all. He’s quite diplomatic in his own trademark way. I, for one, am talking about the “UuuuugHHHhh, you idiot, it’s not like that, how could you possibly not have the common sense to know it’s like this!” as opposed to “I see what you’re saying and there are a few things I must address. First of all, this functions like this and that works like that and here you can see how this works for the better…” Hurtful means taking jabs at people for not knowing better or having a different opinion on a certain subject that’s perfectly interpretable. No one should do hurtful.

Problem => Reasonable explanation/debate => Positive solution = The End
Problem => Emotional “Poke-the-pest” Outburst => Negative impact => The Beginning of Conflict

_________________
Get Ready for It
Forum lurker.

I have to admit a lot of times I get frustrated but I do try to be diplomatic , or simply not step forward in confronting the issue which is causing me frustration.

Thanks for sending us a reminder that we really did need, Dwagin.

I don't know about others, but I personally like and encourage anyone to confront me, not only on forums but in general life, about everything and anything that is causing them distress. I've found that it's a very productive way towards self-development. Sometimes, people may not even be aware of the way they're coming across. So it's important to offer feedback but not state it in such a way that invites conflict / simply throws the hurt back at them.

_________________
Get Ready for It
Forum lurker.

I only used Tormak as an example, because I see that he does say it straight, and sometimes is miss understood for that. O.o'

And I didn't mean Tormak tries to be hurtful with the comments, but some people can view them as hurtful and some may take them as so. Perhaps I should have come with another example than that. Well, no one's perfect



Those are just two courses it could go, I for one, think that it is possible that in your first course, it still can result in negative impact. Mmm.. like:

Problem => Reasonable explanation/debate => Negative impact = The End

This is because of the one who is getting the feedback. Anyhow, I hope I was clear enough of what I meant now. ^^'

1. Sometimes rough words are needed in order to get the message trough.
2. Tormak is not trying to be hurtful or anything like that at all..
3. Sometimes the receiver might take the words the wrong way and there for have a negative impact.

PS: I totally forgot what there was in Dwagins post and don't remember my point anymore... Anyhow, I am going to head to bed. Night!

_________________
http://www.d20srd.org/indexes/spells.htm

Unreasonable, nevrotic people exist, so it's only natural that there can be other ways those paths can take, I was just speaking generally. Exceptions to the rule will always pop up.

As for your first point "1. Sometimes rough words are needed in order to get the message trough." I don't believe that to be the case, in a reasonable situation. Everyone understands if they're being told the entire story, those who purposefully don't understand are a different topic.

Hah, good night.

_________________
Get Ready for It
Forum lurker.

We already know how much they are paid. I think the commensuration is fair.
Would I do it? (censored) yes.

_________________

Prescia the Pristine Voice

I don't get how this is trash talking everyone excluding a few names, not -everyone- is a dick to DMs and such. But yes, this reminder is needed for those who this actually applies to.

_________________

Excellent.

This very much needed saying, as Forum behavior was no small part of what made me quit Amia (and though thats just me, I'm willing to bet others have left because of Forum issues) and I'm sure I won't feel like coming back unless there is somewhat of a change.

I'd be surprised if anyone really considers Tormy as being any part of it.....yes, he's blunt, but frankly, he's entitled.....he's a DM. Folk should be thankful that with some of the behaviour on the Forums and I/G, that the DM's aren't the sort of people who deal with disruptive, destructive behaviour with heavy and repeated applications of the Ban-stick, as is their RIGHT. (...and yes, 'destructive' IS the right word.....stupid behaviour can kill a Server. I'm sure nobody is in any doubt about that).

Why do they not do that? Well, I would hazard a guess as to say that it's because they don't want to put people off from Amia/drive them away by seeming harsh, or heavy-handed (Some players are always going to dislike even a politely-put 'No'). As thats so, what possible right can ordinary players believe they have to be harsh and heavy-handed with others, hmmmm? (I admit, I have been guilty of going well OTT with players I/G, if not on the Forums, and been rightly punished for it). As has been said, we should all be behaving in a manner befitting adults, even those who aren't adults yet. That means we should regulate our own behaviour, not have the threat , or application, of punishment regulate it for us.....

Dwagin has a point, but don't pretend DMs are immune to this. Blame can't be placed squarely on the players' shoulders.

_________________
Born to a [wealth level] family, you spent your early years doing [early activity] in [town type]. Your father was [father status], while your mother was [mother status]. You left your homeland at the age of [chosen age], seeking [reason for leaving].

My advice. If you like it, play. If you don't keep it to yourself like a civilized person or leave.

It's extremely easy.

I don't see the problem, to be honest. Outside the usual negativism I don't think our forum users are too bad. I actually think we're quite close to the best you can get in a gaming forum. If you don't want any complaints/fights/ruckus at all you shouldn't have forums, I guess.

_________________
Say 'no' to JSBF!

Yeah I've seen, and regrettably contributed to, worse forums and forum arguments that anything I've seen here on Amia. I think for the most part everyone on the server and forums is good people, and are mostly civilized when they have an argument. It's one of the reasons I like playing here so very much.

_________________
Sir Taelar Ardelyn of Wiltun
Winner of the Razor Tongued Award 2015!

Kira "Penny" Sigers
Better than Boulderdash!

Amia's forums are fine. That tiny bit of negativism I see here is nothing compared to other forums.

Hmm, I see where you're coming from Dwagin, here's my summary as I read it.

-Be nice to people, don't be a jerk
-Be extra nice to DM's because they work hard

Also, are you defending the DMs because they do put so much work into the server and have to deal with a lot of requests/screenshots/etc or because people have been very disrespectful to them lately?

If someone said something (censored) up to a DM wouldn't they get banned or something? I'd hope so.

_________________
Vaylek - The Worst Guy
Pu Liu - Descendant of the Great River Dragon

Reminds me of the Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".

I do my best to be as polite and civil as I can (I know I have my moments where I don my bright green asshat, though.) because that's how I want people to treat me. Conflict is a part of life and through civilized and mature discussion of conflict, positive outcomes will arise. Name calling and knee-jerk reactions will, however, breed negative outcomes.

So, I would only add that before going off half-cocked and typing up something at one hundred keystrokes a second, sit back, breath, get a soda or whatever and compose your response with a calm mind devoid of any type of anger or frustration.

_________________


"I once took the high road and it took me straight to hell and I stood there all by myself." -Hank III

No more than any other forum user. It's not totalitarian like that.

DM's are people/players too. It's just a little more hurtful when folk disrespect other people who actually put more into providing for your enjoyment than you might for yourself.

My own two bits, don't go disrespecting DM's plots either. They're just as much your PC's story as they are the DM's that sat down to actually pick stuff out of the palatte and design and plot and whatnot. If you don't particularly like a certain plot, don't go saying "this is stupid, and blah blah blah". It's someone's brainchild most likely, and as they've put hours into, most likely they take it a little personal. They're human after all....Most of em.

Just politely suggest something else or do something else. I write in real life. People complaining in Party Chat as a plot goes on probably feels to DM's what it would feel like for someone to read one of my novels infront of me, but make nonconstructive snide remarks outloud. Some would call that editing, but such is not the case.

Anyway, DM's are leaders, and like "true" leaders, they serve. Even if you don't agree with them, at least be respectful.

Yes- BUT. I, for one, havent really seen the DM's being trashed that much. Whenever I speak to a DM, I thank them for time, tell em good job (And a little sucking up, but so what, eh? >.>) Anyways, they're all nice people that share that inner nerd and love for story writing. Its so cool!

BUT = So I havent seen DM's trashed IG (On the forums, yeah, but not as bad as all this sounds). And I dont do it. However, this post still very much applies to me, because its up to us that have higher morale right now to kick things into gear. Encourage others to act responsibly, and TAKE THE (CENSORED) HIT! In an argument, when I know I'm wrong. I pm a friend and complain to him. Then I cool off. I take hits. I say, "Ok, you got me. I'll apologize."

How hard it is to fake a smile online, I ask you? Just fake that simple smile, and move on, because guess what, they'll read it as a true smile, and they'll smile. BOOM-Bang. Contagious.

So here's an offer, here's taking initiative. If you ever have problems, issues. PM the hell out of me. I'll talk, I'll help to the best I can.

I dont need to know you to be my friend.

I dont need to know you to help you.

Well said Dwagin! You know, when I roleplayed with Dwagin the other day, as Caravanner Shark, I thought, the time spent typing in all that RP, just to give me a scroll I'd bought, was absolutely amazing!

I thought to myself, "this person, loves this place". And in turn, I thought, wow, aren't we lucky to have such great roleplayers here?

Actually, one of the chief snide comments I got from people from that "other" server whom I'll not name, was that Amia's quality of roleplaying was so bad, you couldn't make stuff up about it.

Well, I don't think that's any longer the case, I'm seeing quality roleplaying, everyday I log in. I mean, to the point that I'm thoroughly addicted. It was my chief complaint, in days gone past. I can no longer say the same. In fact, many great roleplayers have turned up on our shores since and Amia's quality levels keep going up.

The same can be said for the Development, DM'ing and Job System. All of that just pushes the bar of quality even higher. Now we don't need more people leaving the best server around, because of some toxic kitten making someone's day grey.

However, the other golden rule is:

"Be Nice".

I'll do my best to abide by that.

_________________
Illithira Frostmaiden (Snow Elf) Guardian of the Frostfell
Elithiel Issatheerin (Shadow Elf) She who Lurks
Isolia Oussea'lylth (Sun Elf) Apprentice Wizardess

I know you mean well, but this needs addressing. We DMs have no entitlement to be any crueller than anyone else just because we put up with more crap. If anything, we should be setting the example for forum behavior.

Which we don't.

And we're whipping ourselves into shape at this very moment, in fact.

I think that this is why we are lucky to have the DM staff that we do. Not only are they constantly analyzing themselves so that they can make themselves a better staff but they are doing it so that we can have a more enjoyable experience. It really is time that we, the players, stopped acting like we are the ones that are entitled. We need to understand that the DMs are here to keep things fair and under control and we should be showing our gratitude, not griping at every turn.

.. I would get into a Mulan-esque song about getting down to business to defeat Puns but it's a little silly.

Hearing though that is the case, is a good first sign of improvement so long as all sides can improve. (Let's be honest: Anyone who blames the DMs alone might wish to look in a mirror.)

Well, anytime you ask a big group of vastly different people to get along and work as a team whether it be the playerbase or the DM's we're gonna have bumps in the road. I think we're doing a fairly good job, considering. I've seen much, much much much worse than these forums on the net.

_________________
We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.

A little negativity now is better than a whole stockpile of it being opened up later on, leading to Forumageddon.

The important thing is not to take any of it too personally, online forums are at times very impersonal. Chances are if someone's got an axe to grind but they're not saying why, they're expecting you to know already or work it out. Which you can't, not always. Put on your customer service hat for a minute and it's more obvious that asking 'What exactly is the problem?' gets you closer to the underlying issues, or at least gives you new information to work with, or tells the other person that you're listening, but they need to stop posting in rantinese.

This. Though I agree with the message about not being a douche. I do so in general, really, but this place falls under "general," in this context.

As for Tormy, I think we've all been over that before. I know I've been asked my oppinion a fair share of times, and the way I see it (and have for a long time now) is that he's the DM you may hate at times, but you sure as shit don't want to be without. Great at what he does, and that won't change due to his steadily streaming prick-ish responses.

Note: I only added the Tormy's Personal Part (mmm, Tormak's personal parts) because I saw him mentioned a few times as I scrolled down, so if he's not as major a part of this as I thought, even with Dwagin's opening... Well, mah bad.

Anywho, we're all good. The random tosser shouldn't be more than we can handle, and if everyone makes sure to keep their own socks clean, they've nothing to worry about.

_________________
Profiles: DakoDako & ElWacko

Characters: Currently trying my best to stick to Beridoc Brushgale

Transparency, ownership... responsibility.

Respectability.

I believe you Yoss, and I believe once everything is said and done, and Disco has had his break, we will see things become even better than before.

Like I said in that thread, change is sometimes required for larger Change... it's like a dominoe effect. I'm relieved to see you saying this, someone in the DM team atleast.

Thank you.

Regards,

_________________

"Come under the flag of truce, and brook no treason... for mineself is Death, and care not whom knows mine touch."
- Frey Asaid'De Majere

A large thanks to all that have posted in here positively. Which is pretty much everyone.

THANK YOU!

Could've gone bigger, but don't want to disrupt stuff too much.

_________________
--MAINS--
Xanon .: Talonite!
Xiladei .: Amethyst Dragon Disciple.
Ryth .: Returning Elven Archer. Missing for some time.

I'm really new but I try to be as nice as possible and help people when they need it. And I hate bothering the DM's with anything that I think I can handle/answer on my own so I do a lot of forum searching some days and ask quite a few players (both IC and OOC) before I ask a DM usually.

And for the most part, since I've arrived on Amia, most people are quite nice and helpful, but you do get the occasional asshat who thinks it's their solemn duty to teach everyone on earth how big of a douche they are by A. Purposefully giving misinformation to strife the person, B. Downright insulting the person based on their "ignorance" or C. Completely and utterly ignore them in the rudest fashion possible.

I don't believe in doing any of this to anyone ever. It could be the couple years I spent DM'g on a PW Story server and my extensive background in Customer Service but if someone is being polite to me and genuinely seeks an answer that I might have, I'm going to help them out and not yell at them and lecture them on rules about IC vs OOC and all this other nonsense. When it comes right down to it, people play this game to have fun; not to be lectured on rules and regulations.

I believe everyone should be able to decide their own level of involvement and their own standards for play. Granted, I don't believe in excessive metagaming or anything like that, but at the same time, I don't believe in making someone sit through 2 hours of RP they really don't have an interest in just to get a 2 second answer to a question that's not going to affect their metagame in the slightest.

It's just common manners in my honest opinion.

_________________

Great responses here I see and just remember, Dms are just as human as any of the players, we all have good and bad days. Negativity is nothing to be afraid of or angry about, it is how things sometimes get to be seen to be improved. If there was nothing but positive thinking then bad ideas and bad deeds would never be acknowledged or fixed, it’s the overly and unrealistic positive attitudes that can harm allot more then the overly negative. Why do you think the world is in the shape it is in, too much positive thinking while ignoring and chastising those who have seen problems then called negative Nancy’ for speaking about those problems.

As Disco said its not that bad here at all, in fact it is better here then most places. There are some forums that will actually delete anything that sounds negative or any post that brings up any problem that may exist, needless to say those problems that do exist never get talked about or fixed. As long as there are no personal attacks on people or that you do not take things personally then there really shouldn’t be a huge problem.

Amia is my first and only NWN server. It is also my first and only forum. ^^;

I think that is why when something bad is happening, I take a break. Depending on my mood, I get jumpy and end up being rude to some people, but when I see I was wrong, I apologize. Or when I am aware that I was an arse, regardless if I was right or wrong, I also apologize.

Oftentimes, ashamed of my own behaviour, I take a break (not the case this time). Especially when I recognize I have been overreacting.

I tend to talk OOC to the players if I have a problem with them and if nothing is solved at the moment, I take a break from interacting with that player in either an OOC or an IC level. Or I interact IC, but try to avoid the OOC. Then, after some time is past, if I think I am ready I am back interacting with those players OOC too. If problems start anew, I try again and again to solve them. Sometimes I see that it is best to yield and cut the OOC once and for all. Usually, when this time comes, is when I try to involve a DM because the issue took away my fun at playing and if I take another break, it is because those issues got me drained and heartbroken. I tend to go to DMs as a last resort.

Kind of seeing them as a light at the end of a very long and very dark tunnel.

Sometimes, I talk to a DM rightaway out of selfshiness, because I do not want to deal with that situation. But these times are rare and tend to happen in game. Then I crucify myself for being such a coward. And an arse. >.<

Mind, though, it takes a lot to make me give up attempts at mediating a situation or trying to solve a problem with a player. I am very patient and if I gave up on something, it is because I cannot think of anything else I can do to help the situation. Or I simply went truly out of patience.


Also, on what concerns solving issues by yourself, sometimes it only makes things worse. Sometimes, the sooner you get a DM on your case, the better.

Just remember to do it with proof or they will have their hands tied and if you are too nervous, you might be a tad blind to see and understand why they cannot help you ~at the moment~.

EDIT! I just remembered that when I was leading the Vhaeraunite faction, I had my own forum too. So, Amia was my only forum for a long time. Then, it shared space with the Vhaeraunite faction's forum. Now, after I dissolved the faction, it is back being the only one. ^^;

EDIT 2: Damn typos. >.<

_________________
BlackDahlya

Once Upon A Time Played
Adr'ael Ken'rahel, Auron Teken’ath, Aurora Mesodias, 'Daniel' Daoskinaxarijikkym, Eilin'ira, Helena Rios, Layla Faircurrent, May'Une Do'Ndar, Mellinda Tellus, Michael of Cliffside, Rizzen of Twilight, Valkirya d'Claddath

I find that when I'm embarassed because I've done something stupid, like break some rule I shouldnt have, I slip further and further into "badness". My mind gets cluttered, I do rash things, and the situation worsens.

Guys, just walk away. Take a moment and go punt a pillow, grin, then return.

Tons of good responses. I'm getting so much positive feedback from players on these forums, I dont want to leave! (:( please stop... I'm getting addicted more and more.)

Positive feedback goes a long way. Also, just because the situation here is pretty good compared to other forums doesn't mean there's no room for improvement. I love to see people working together to solve a common issue, or a misunderstanding that happened between them. It's often hard, as much IG as on the forums, to peacefully try to talk things over with someone who might have consciously wronged you, but I think that if people honestly just say how said actions made them feel without outright blaming or insulting the other for their discomfort, things could have a turn for the even better.

That said, I agree that this is a pretty addictive place and am happy to say the leadership continually shows both diplomacy and responsability. Keeping an objective perspective on everything that happens is quite a difficult task. It's even more difficult to look behind the scenes and get to the root of the problem. Sometimes just stopping to think "Where did this come from?" instead of immediatelly addressing it in the first standard dismissing fashion does wonders. And the last part applies to anyone who tends to just jump to conclusions.

I believe in always striving to be better, to set an example, and that's the only thing I really wanted to underline.

Three cheers to a wonderful community that has never stopped evolving and grows on you the more you get to know it.

_________________
Get Ready for It
Forum lurker.

Weird thread.

_________________
Davion Telemos - Monk of the Four Winds
Korthan Isharnos - Dragon Shaman of Thunder Spirit Zamasham

I can't tell if your saying to stop giving opinions, or asking people stop being asses about it Dwagin, but still continue to give opinions. Pooing in the Pond is a good way to get things done, improve upon existing features, and fix broken things, occasionally you must poo in the pond to get noticed and to make your point.

Now if you take the poo, attach a brick to it, then toss it at another player or DM, that's bad.

_________________
I keels u with my axe!

"Do ye know where the Holy-Flamin' Frost-brand Gronk-slayin' Vorpal Hammer o' woundin' an' returnin' an' Shootin'-Lightnin'-out-yer-bum is?"

I have to agree with what's being said here, but I find it unfortunate that some of the people meant to read this post are just occasional players of the game that don't read the forums.

Basically, thats the general idea.

Differences are great, it is the differences that make Amia strong and good.

Opinions are fine. Just don't express them with poo smeared bricks to the head.

_________________
Dwagin [Duh-wa-GIN] N. - 1a. Small and cute thingum, particularly fond of four legged scaled creatures of the metalic and chromatic varieties.

-Extraordinarily ordinary in the mostest of ways.

I understand the point of the thread, and it's a good point to make. I'm just not sure public conduct is all -that- bad here. Like a few others have said, I've seen -waaaaaay- -way- worse many other places.

We have out moments where it can get out of hand every once in a while though, no doubt. We always have had those moments. But, I think Amia has come a very long ways from the, so called, "Golden days" when I first started playing here. Lots of bad stuff going on back then, not just crap tossing. Things have taken a bit of a down slope these days though. Not too bad, but better to get it addressed than to let it fester.

I'm with Yoss. Being a DM doesn't give you the right to shove crap down players throats for stupid reasons. They should be setting the example. Everyone should check themselves, not just players.

_________________
My Characters:
Yuilith Kethil Menaiivan Garadeth

That was some intense propaganda... I'm feelin' thirsty for a revolt against optimism... The Soviet theatre did it.

So here's my two cents: piss off.

_________________

'Ze Cock! Ze Cock ist shtill aut der!! Kapitulation feiern - NEIN DANKE!'

Heres my two cents plain and simple, it works in life and at four way stops

Check yourself! and be Respectful of others!

I'm talking mainly in ooc instances, of course do to alignments of certain characters doing so "in character" would be ludicrous but doing it in OCC -will- make Amia and anywhere else a better place.

love her Dwagin

_________________

The Peacock wrote:

[GreatPigeon] is better than me.

I'm a selfish self involved jerk however I have been over the past year doing what I can to not be as negative. I still have some ways to go but I am better at being nice that I was a year ago. I will work even harder in the coming year to be a friendly, more open person, that is not so quick to jump to conclusions about ppl motives. I have to work on my distrust of ppl.

I caught myself snapping at another player just the other day because of a harmless little comment but I took it as some kind of attack due to my suspicous nature. Some minutes later I re-read this person comment & saw it in a new light & realised they weren't trying to be a jerk & I apologised for my bluntness. I hope the person manages to forgive my rudeness.

_________________
YANKEE ROSE
-----------------

;)

_________________
Character Status:
Mynna- Guldorand
Samrael Cymere-Winya Ravana
Laika-Unknown