AMIA ARCHIVE • View topic

It could be like a forum wide Dr. Phil session, Yeah?
Except hopefully a bit less shitty.

I get annoyed by the short and patronizing messages left by some people on numerous threads (Not usually mine, but I've made hardly any, threads I mean) that just show how broken their social skills are, some people just don't know how to deal with people, and it can be extremely discouraging. This includes the DM's, and in some cases it can be a whole lot more discouraging coming from someone with that much power.

These are some posts I found on a request thread, it's locked so I can't add quote thingies, but here's the link: http://www.amiaworld.net/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=39889

Here's what some people said:

(TormakSaber)
This is your request?

No, from me.

(Crowsterf)
What Tormak said.

I think this is extremely discouraging, and it shows absolutely no reason whatsoever as to why the declined the request. A DM should be able to provide constructive criticism and help someone better their requests/threads.

I'm not just aiming at DM's, Also players.. I think we need to talk to eachother about what we need and want to hear from people, not just 'It won't work.'
Because right now we're like a dysfunctional family with communication problems, and the way to change that is talking to eachother...
This will probably seem really stupid when I post this but I don't really care

There are some more examples around, but I don't really want to dig for them... If requested I can find some, I suppose.
I want people to feel that they can say who they have a problem with so we can actually try to fix it, on both sides... And can people try not to be SO blunt and actually explain why they think certain things? Why they say no or it won't work? This can give the person peace of mind that they were properly considered and can make things work by improving the parts of their suggestion/discussion that don't quite make sense or work properly.

Thanks for reading if you actually did. :wink:

That's not really supposed to be a wink it just looks funny.

Just remembered, this should be mooved. Oopsies poopsies.
Hah.
If someone could do that I'll love you temporarily : )

I've never had a problem with their bluntness, and if one wants elaboration, one can always ask.

Tormak can be brutally, and at times offensively, blunt. Mostly we expect it of him. Occasionally even he admits to going too far.

Nice thread find, Xavi! This might've been better suited as a PM to both of the parties you're targeting, Morene. Just a suggestion.

I think Tormak is blunt for a reason. If all the DMs were nice and cuddly, then we'd have even more ridiculous characters going around than there is now. In my opinion, there just has to a be someone who says no. It makes things alot cleaner.

And half the time I've seen Tormak reject a request right off the bat, the request is either something completely ridiculous (Such as a vampire or psionic) or isn't properly set out. Valid reasons, really.

In summary, don't bash specific people like this. If you want to remind the users to be nice, that's fine. But don't go suggesting that specific people be nicer. That's just rude.

I usually find talking to someone directly and privately about something they are doing that irritates you the most polite course of action.

As I said I'm not specifically targeting anyone, but more the community as a whole and how we act and how we can improve that...
I didn't mean to single anyone out, I just wanted to show how some people can act and how it doesn't really help the person know what they should do with any future requests/suggestions/discussions

mairacle_ninja wrote:

In summary, don't bash specific people like this. If you want to remind the users to be nice, that's fine. But don't go suggesting that specific people be nicer. That's just rude.

That and

Dwagin wrote:

I usually find talking to someone directly and privately about something they are doing that irritates you the most adult course of action.

That are good ideas.

Sorry to be blunt, but talking about individual people publicly is not a good way to get positive support from them, whether you are correct in your assertions or not (I make no judgement on said assertions here).
Instead, you're likely to rile up the people you are talking about.

Morene Armande wrote:

As I said I'm not specifically targeting anyone, but more the community as a whole and how we act and how we can improve that...
I didn't mean to single anyone out, I just wanted to show how some people can act and how it doesn't really help the person know what they should do with any future requests/suggestions/discussions

If you're not specifically targetting anyone, don't mention anyone.

There will be no Dr. Phil session with specific incidents on the main forums. There are ways to communicate dissatisfaction with DM bluntness (talk to the involved DMs, or go to the Head DM if you believe that to be necessary), this is not it.

Yep, shoot me a PM ill gladly explain my shortness in future since i dare say i will be.

Public chanels arnt the place for complaints, at least not with specific examples.

The wink does look kinda funny but they all do IMO

Being short is a DM tactic to try and cover as much of the forum as possible, we dont always have time for elaborate reason for our responses and we dont get paid to read your requests we do it because we are trying to make Amia the best we can.

A few requests may suffer in the process, but the example above was for a red dragon character, your looking at a request that would have to be in the state of awsome and detailed to the max if it was even to be considered. If the OP isnt going to take the time to use the proper format to request the most powerfull thing we are likely to alow then that is thier mistake not ours.

If you have an issue with me, my MSN is TormakSaber@yahoo.com .

Add me and speak to me. I can't guarantee things will be worked out to your satisfaction, but I will set aside time to speak to you about any and all issues you have with me.

Let's all be Nice for a Change

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