The falling book shows up, un-announced and un-noticed in the massive and poorly organized libary of Mystra's Tower. It moves on its own quite often, and occasionally seems to eat other books, because when sat by one it shows up the next morning looking a bit bigger, the other book gone. And smug.


Chapter 1:

The Goblins of Amia
The tale of reversal.

Goblins are known the world over, prehapse better then any of the myrid of humanoid and goblinoid races, the humble goblin is the most universal pest of the world. Even a common farmer has a decent chance to have seen one before, with over 200,000 tribes worldwide, each tribe having at least 300 members...its no surprise that few races are reviled or held in such contempt as the humble goblin.

However, this strange Island, Amia, like every other thing within it, has unusual goblins throughly entrenched in its history. On the island of 'Brogdenstein' the truth, through careful study, can be discovered.

On the island of brogdenstein, a goblin tribe thats practically to silly for even goblin hero-myths existed. A tribe of incredible warriors, fast and smart, brave and deadly, they could summon up dragons, move faster then light, and strike a man dead with a single blow. These are not myths, they are facts, but the explanation is even more peculiar, thus worth merrit of this study.

The Goblins of brogdenstein, in fact, suffered the strange and rarely seen planar disease of Nilnogisim. This peculiar ailment happens only to goblins who have been exposed to extensive magical radiation in conjuction to planar gates and time travel. These goblins are 'reversed', and go by Snilbog. Becuse of their peculiar condition, all things which happen to them are reversed. This tribe was actually possibly the weakest tribe to ever exist, the great powers and devestation they are reputed to have possed, in fact, are simply adventurers having their great powers returned at them in force, multiplied.

The condition cleared after time, and a group of orcs in short order slaughtered and drove out the former Nilbog members, all of them perishing but one, a goblin shaman named Repus. This little goblin, somehow, managed to develope the power to reverse his own death, whenever slain he simply returns to life again a few mommentsand miles later, always the same.

Leading Amia's sole goblin tribe, the Vile Rune Tribe, he seems content with pilfering over corpses, driving animals mad with disease, and being a small time nusicence, but any seasoned and learned schollar would wonder: Where are the goblins? Only seen around the walls of the islands largest city, it would seem odd that they have no baseand are seen nowhere but that one location.

This, in fact, is prehapse their igenious secret. The goblins are everywhere, one must merely discover them. The goblins seem to have evolved to fill a niche on the odd island. The Many, many adventurers of the island slay wantonly, and leave the corpses of their foes to rot. And upon this rot, the goblins doth sup. So in this manner, the goblins have found their perfect spot in the order of things: Garbage Men. Or garbage goblins, in any manner.

More odd? Why does this land seem to allow goblins to freely walk into their cities, and more frighteningly, interact with their children? Prehapse with study, I can discren this and many more facts of the oddness of this little blight on our fair world.

//More! More! More! - Best post since the conception of the word 'forum' somewhere around 500 BC.

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Say 'no' to JSBF!

*If Jiharu happens to see this book, she'll growl and writeup a small notice*

To the Writer of 'The Goblins of Amia'. I'd like to have a word with you at earliest convience dear sir, perhaps to help you understand at least in Cordor why Goblins are given a fair chance. Please leave notice in West Cordor to contact me for further conversation.

Signed:

Jiharu Kusama,
Priestess of the Morninglord

((Right, like Elminster will bother to write back... More! Talk about the orc on Skull Crags that had multiple instant Death pulses! <.<))

_________________
Davion Telemos - Monk of the Four Winds
Korthan Isharnos - Dragon Shaman of Thunder Spirit Zamasham

Chapter 2:
Mylocks of Amia
How do you milk a cow with steel udders?

Mylocks, as you may or may not know, are not constructs, though they share a similarity with the former. Thought once to be a highly advanced being, this theory is generally just put forth because they look a bit like machines and most sages are a lot less clever then they let on.

Originating before the creator wars, like other mylocks, Amia's are a race of bestial people with minimal intelligence and a herd-like social structure. Females go into a small period of 'heat' in the spring, during which the temperature of their loin-plates become hot enough to cook an egg on, or so I've been told. I've little interest into exploring this. During this period of the rainy spring months of Amia, the male Mylocks engage in a bizarre activity.

Instead of butting heads and engaging in fierce battles among each other, as is the habit of most mylocks, the strange breed of Amian mylock, instead, construct elaborate chests and place very weak enchanted items or bits of paper within them. If the breeding is accepted, the female and male construct a lock, the complexity of the lock determines the future success of the breeding.

After breeding the chest is generally just left to drop. Local monsters seem to collect them, in order to attract adventurers for food, though on this island 'attracting adventurers' is hardly a problem.

During the winter months, females often have the misfortune to become over-swollen with milk. However, the mechanical layering that sprouts on their skin early at birth prevents them from easily milking themselves, as female minotaur are known to do. The Mylocks of Amia have, as most things here, grown a unique adaptation to this.

Seeming to live in symbiosis with the nearby halfling tribes, the females will rush in swinging a weapon over their head. Their udders being placed where they are, are generally struck by the short folk, who are rewarded with a disgusting blast of blackish milk that smells faintly of motor oil and the author would advise against using in tea.

Historically the Mylocks once ruled all of Amia, where they arbitrarily constructed monuments to their ability to build monuments. However, they went to war sometime around -37,000 DR and where wiped from elevation to barbarianism by the Enigmatic Myarts. Their former linage does, occasionally, surface, as one in 6 myarts are guaranteed to be a sorcerer of at least 2nd circle magic.

Local adventurers don't seem to be very clear on why they hunt the Mylock population, they simply seem to attack them while passing through. This proves fortuitous for the rest of the island nations, for the Mechanical bulls are under the yoke of a sinister and poorly planned out organization known as "Wyrmhold". I am unable to ascertain how a city of dragons came about, let alone why they have command over Mylocks.

//ohh this is glorious! Elminster writing about Amia...hehe but Motor oil?

(Eliminsters note) I am in fact quite learned in the fields of your motor cars, a novel concept.

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Plays:
Sylveera : Sun Elven fury packed in an Arcane Archer, not a Drow, promise.
Tetrik : Greed incarnate in a Duergar.
Budly : Has gone to a better place.
Barrililath : Shadowy Drow, probably less Drow than Sylv ever be.

//Elminster is widely traveled. He even visits Ed Greenwood's house from time to time in the "Wizards Three" series of articles in Dragon.

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Gillaria Avares - Elven Archer/Rogue
Off who knows where doing Erevan knows what

Blik Mud - Broketooth Goblin

Sina Averest - Acolyte of Salandra

Chapter 3:
The Ogre’s of Amia
Me take all the bridges!



The ogre’s of Amia are neither a native form of life, nor an import from some other being. Rather, an ogre from Kara Tur, Smelling of Koi, first arrived on Amia riding what seems to be a palm tree, at least according to the difficult to understand language and oral history of the ogre’s.

Ogre’s are large, and require a great range of food and resources, however, the Ogre’s of this area seem to live wedged between two humanoid fortifications and have little food. There in lies their most important adapted evolutionary trait: Bridge keeping.

The bridge, Amia’s ONLY sizable bridge, strangely, is ruled over by the ‘bonking’ clan. The bridge, originally built by a now extinct group of Dwarves to facilitate travels to two cities which no longer exist, may seem pointless, but it remains the easiest methods of traveling betwixt Cordor and Kholigen.

The Leader of the Bonk clan of Ogre’s, Bonk of Bonk, is a very reasonable and educated Ogre. He also dies, frequently, yet is continually encountered. This is due to a rare ritual enacted by a cabal of Ogre Mages. Bonks soul is the bridge, he is forever bound to it, to forever guard it. He’s actually almost incapable of leaving its immediate vicinity.

This brings to question what, if anything, are they accomplishing by waylaying an only sporadically used bridge over an easily fordable river? The author, however, is reminded: These are Ogre’s, so you can’t expect to much of them.

Vyashir notices the strange book in Mystra's Tower, as he prides himself on his attempts to read every book in the library there. He comes across the passage regarding ogres, and puts an Addendum in his personal notes regarding tower books, which he keeps open and public, so nobody will read them. It would read as follows, but is too illegible, due to his poor poor handwriting.

"It has been observed, that the "Bonk" does in fact leave the bridge on occassion, if only to stand atop the broken and dismembered bodies of those victims who try to flee from him (A poor option, since Bonk is reputed to travel twice as fast as the speed of Smell), and/or Camp the only marginally safer route out of the She-Kat canyon exit to Winya Ravana. Some have claimed that they have even seen two of them at the same time, but I dismiss this claim, as they have likely been 'Bonked' on the head too many times."

_________________


Those trees won't burn themselves down. (by Maryn)

Chapter 4:
The Kobolds Of Amia
Why Deekin Should Be Shot.


Every adventurer has crossed swords or spells with a Kobold at some point, their as common as rats and loosely as popular. On Amia this is a strange accepting, however, because the Kobold population here seems both endangered and almost popular.

The Amia tribe of Kobolds, known as the Fighting Mongooses, oddly, have lived on the island in the same location nearly 7000 years.

Originally brought here by a Now deceased dragon, the Kobolds have continued to thrive in the absence of their master by carrying on a series of mostly pointless raids against farmers. Despite depredations of the adventuring population, they somehow manage to thrive, though thankfully their numbers are kept in check.

A Peculiar fact of this island, however, is that roughly every major city contains a 1-3% population density of ‘tame’ kobolds. Including a city seemingly at war with them, to which I cannot fathom how the people put aside their justified prejudices.

Until further study. It seems the famous(not very famous) Kobold Bard, Deekin Scalesinger, who wrote a fanciful and, though keep this under your cap, completely true story of witchcraft and adventure, visited the island of Amia for approximately 3 hours. Upon arriving someone threatened they would ‘own’ him, which frightened him and caused him to become stuck behind an indestructible bench.

Upon being greased sufficiently, embarrassed and frightened, he ran outside the gates of the city of Cordor to the wilderness, where he killed a few drow quite accidently. The local Kobold Tribe witnessed this, and brought Deekin to the King of the Kobolds, King Kobg. Impressed with the ‘Great Hero” it became local custom to arbitrarily banish children Whenever they showed promise, showed skill, showed bravery, looked sleepy, or when bored. As such nearly 1 in 10 kobolds are exiled forever, causing the Kobolds to have taken a unique niche in the ecology of this odd island: Comedic relief.

Chapter 5:
The Orcs of Amia.
One tribes unique stratagem




The orcs of Amia have dwelled there since the later part of the creator wars, a group that traveled north from the Pirate isles because of their strange religious beliefs, they caught a world in which they could practice their religion without persecution, and kill things.

Orcs are by no mean the most ‘spiritual’ of beings, most hardly able to think past humping and killing. They know few skills, and none of them are they able to do well, make no farms, build no idols. But they obey certain, simple tribal laws. The tribe of the Red Fist Fang Tooth clan, however, where big thinkers.

These Orcs had a bizarre right of passage, and it continues to this very day. At the cusp of puberty, all males of the tribe are separate and placed in a ‘satellite’ tribe, where only the strongest are allowed to leave in 3 years, once one of them has receive Grummush’s blessing. The small settlement near Bendir Dale is simply a place to strengthen their blood. But what, you ask, happens to the ‘left overs’?

They generally take a human wife from the mountains, where their apparently more handsome then the normal humans. Their children generally abandon their parents at a young age, and move to the bizarre tribe of half orcs which breed true called the ‘blood moon’ orcs.

Oddly, the orcs severely fear halflings and their kin here. There is no explicable reason why. Nor why teaching their children to hate orcs is actually advancing their society, but their society consists entirely of a small cave in the woods of a forest surrounded by VERY dangerous ‘ground dodo’s’ and strangely less dangerous giants and barbarians. At this point, I do not believe the orcs could do any worse.

//I realise dragging this post out of the clutches its eternal sleep is close to a epic necromantic spell but I do have a question. Do this still hold true? Could this be turned into a wiki book?

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...Hereof follows that the social contract is only beneficial as long as all have something and none have too much...
- Rousseau Book 1 Chapter 9 in "The Social Contract"

((Most all of this is noncanon written on the whims of a single DM acting outside her station by making up lore without discussing it with the DM team at the time.))

_________________
Davion Telemos - Monk of the Four Winds
Korthan Isharnos - Dragon Shaman of Thunder Spirit Zamasham

but it's funny, whimsy and not to be taken seriously, just like anything else Elminster happens to write down in a book

did you know Elminster wrote the Bible?

he soooo did....