A Collection of Silly Poetry About Pants

by Boppi Ydonis




Prelude

This collection is dedicated to the amazing gnome Boppi Ydonis. Yes, it's me, but I find it only fair to dedicate such awesome art to me, because I am, after all, the writer. Dedicating this to my mother would be fairly silly wouldn't it? I'm not even sure she wore pants. Not that it's of any importance.




Content

1: Pants.
2: Pantaloons.
3: Underpants.
4: Silly Pants.
5: Amazing Pants.
6: Evil Pants.


1: Pants

Pants are great for legns 'n such,
wear them and they'll give you much.

Wear a pair of Boppiwear,
you'll gain power and fancy hair. On your legs.

Hair is great and so are women, unless of course they are seamen.
Seamen arent wearing pants which makes them look silly. Why would they wear pants anyway?

This poem doesn't make sense,
but neither does your face.


2: Pantaloons

Pantaloons are almost like pants,
in the sense that you don't wear them on your hands.

Pantaloons are fairly nice,
but not like pants which I will, during this poem,
tell you twice.

Pantaloons are fairly nice,
but not like pants,
and I have now told you twice.

This poem actually does make sense,
but your face still doesn't.


3: Underpants

You wear underpants under your pants,
which possibly makes your nobby shrink.

If you discover this, fret not,
go to the inn and have a drink.

When you come home your lass will laugh at you,
but tell the wench loud and clear:

At least my pants aren't stained with poo.


4: Silly Pants

Silly pants are worn by clowns and bards,
not to be viewed by the faint of hearts.

The bards wear them shamefully for all to see,
as they represent silliness stained with pee.

The clowns are supposed to be silly, so kudos to those,
a clown without silly pants is like a dog with no nose.

Silly pants will be forbidden by law and burned,
beware clowns and bards, the table has turned.


5: Amazing Pants

A bird once told me that I was the only to see,
that the amazing pants of Amia,
must be free.

I raised my sword and fought for justice and light,
justice for pants and pantaloons alike,
and light to show off my pants at night.

Thus, the battle of the pants was done,
the amazing pants were free once more,
and I was their amazing son.


6: Evil Pants

Terry worked at the mill and had a wife to fight,
he chopped wood and fed the grinder,
but lonely he was at night.

He wore one set of pants during his life,
not once he took them off,
not even when he felt the sting of a knife.

The pants were sent from the abyss to torment and kill,
this came as a surprise to Terry from the mill,
he was unprepared for the pants' devious hobby,
as the pants ate his nobby.

_________________
"People that talk in metaphors ought to shampoo my crotch." - Jack Nicholson.