AMIA ARCHIVE • View topic - Noticeboards of all goodly & neutral towns -Bride Wanted!

//The note is posted in the noticeboards of surface towns and cities of Kohligen, Cordor, Bendir Dale, Uhm, Wiltun, Forastakker, Brogendenstine etc. (neutral and good towns/cities)

The notice clearly reads:

"Seeking bride for one of my beloved 'grandsons'. He is a man of strong character and even stronger virility. Nothing less then seven children I would imagine, would be what he is capable of. He is I believe considered handsome by those of the opposite sex.. gender. (//The writer may have been embarassed to write sex). He is of esteemed social standing, well off and will be sure to provide a worthy bride a long happy future. Please write to Karmath Hadeyes, currently residing in the Kelemvor Cathedral in Khem with details. Please include a physical description if possible along with skills and interests, such as cooking, cleaning, dance , poetry and the like."

Thank you kindly, and Lord bless.

Karmath Hadeyes

*a reply posted beneath in Wiltun*

Adela Griffonheart Solanthas, red headed, good hips for childbearing, slim figure otherwise. Mage, a fair cook, would appreciate hearing poetry but am uncertain of her ability to write poetry. She is intrested in helping friendly people, as a follower of Lathander she, like the followers of kelemvor, destroys undead when she comes upon them. Her personality is very sweet and warm, send me a letter if you have a suitable sum to have her hand in marriage.

Vick Bross

Below is a note in response:

Perfect Bride found for your handsome grandson!
I can sing, dance, I'm subserviant and have absolutely no free will of my own.
I love to clean everything, and in my spare time I bake cookies, dote over my future husband, and write songs about how perfect and wonderful he really is.
I also know how to make ale and love giving massages for those long hard evenings.

I'm a real looker, and many people would say I'm just indescribably gorgeous. People love me.

Oh, by the way, pre-nup not allowed, and hopefully your grandson has the insight to prepare funds for the future children. Ideally in the millions--these are dark times, and seven mouths is a lot to feed!

-Cecilia.

drahgon wrote:

*a reply posted beneath in Wiltun*

Adela Griffonheart Solanthas, red headed, good hips for childbearing, slim figure otherwise. Mage, a fair cook, would appreciate hearing poetry but am uncertain of her ability to write poetry. She is intrested in helping friendly people, as a follower of Lathander she, like the followers of kelemvor, destroys undead when she comes upon them. Her personality is very sweet and warm, send me a letter if you have a suitable sum to have her hand in marriage.

Vick Bross

This notice is removed by a certain red haired Dawnguard looking rather annoyed

"She's already married you dimwit..."

*A figure pauses, reading the initial post, then bursts into giggles, taking down a copy and hurrying off*

A black winged man spots the notice reading as every passer by had...He pauses however at on particular reply the signature draining the blood from his face.. A large pale hand whips up, fingertips graced with blackened nails..He looks about to tear it down but stops.. Free hand moving into his shirt pulling out a crumpled note.. The man clicks his tongue tisking.. Squeezing the note in hs fist he begins to chuckle, deep, an ugly laugh bitter and hatefilled.. Pivoting he lumbers off, blade in hand.. Foul draconic words float after him into the dark...

A certain Drow walks past setting her eyes on the notice biting her lower lip holding back a laugh. She notes down the few details walks off continuing on her day

I ACCEPT!
~Veronique Shaji

*A grey-haired man with an eye patch rips off the poster in Khem, reads it through numerous times and then burns it and frowns more deeply than in a long time*

When Jud sees the notice, he simply snickers as he reads his way through it.

Silly humans.

I could summon an undead bride for your grandson.
I can guarantee that she'll be a better wife than Cecilia!
You can even pick the eye color.

~ Nergal Kharadras

::

Each one of these notices would be tracked down and removed one by one by Eternal Order members in uniform, or simply incognito, with no identification present.

::

Yet another drow reads the notice, has herself a very good laugh and leaves.

*Old Karmath Hadeyes, in a jovial mood, attends to his notices, replacing the ones that have been taken down with an annoyed frown, taking down notes, leaving the postings there, he peruses them with a certain seriousness, adjusting his glasses and stroking his beard in deep thought. Frowning at some of the replies and smiling at others.*

"Hmmmmm, this was more effective then I would have thought...Lord be praised"

*He then compiles what notes he has and walks off while singing a jingle.*

A large half-orc in majestic golden armor slowly reads the notice. He sighs and speaks aloud in a calm and normal voice.

"Sounds like prostitution to me."

*Sunny pauses at one of these notices, snickering a bit to himself. He scribbles one quick word, and ambles off*

-Neveah.

What looks like Elle only shorter with black hair, walks up, reading it over. She ponders for a moment then grins brightly as she adds a name.

-Yaston Sylgerand (lovely woman and perfect housewife. She enjoys long walks on the beach.)

Last edited by Kudark on Tue, May 03 2011, 14:59 PM, edited 1 time in total.

// OOC: this note was removed, though i'll keep it up because it still makes me chuckle*

A hastily scribbled note is placed on the Cordor board.

"My name is Voronwer, an Elf maiden with golden locks of long corn silk like hair, I will bat my eyelashes and make your grandson swoon. Race is not a problem, as I love all races equally, yes, I am an unusual Elf, and I am wealthy."

The dark clad and hooded figure darts off quickly and quietly, disappearing into the shadows.

Ty sees the last few postings, shaking his head in exasperated amusement. However, he also removes the last posting as he strides off, not adding anything further.

A brown-haired young, human woman is seen entering the cathedral wearing brown and burgundy, well-made clothing. She looks around and asks for Karmath Hadeyes and says she's come to reply to the notice personally.

(( Maybe we can arrange to have this happen in game if he'd be around. ))

When the hell's my weddin'? I got the dress!

~V. Shaji

*The old man goes all across the towns inspecting his notices and sadly with a sigh and wipes his eye of any tears, he posts this post on top of where his notices would be*

"Dear concerned and caring residents of (Insert goodly/neutral town name here), I am sorry to inform you all, that my grandson is nowhere to be found, and I'm not sure as to why this reason is. He is usually not the type to have run away. I'm not sure if it had something to do with a sketch of a half-orc tribeswoman proposal that he may have seen, or the white skinned daemonkin that popped up at the church asking for his hand in marriage. And I would never had thought I'd have a problem with a run-away groom and cannot explain the reason of his absence.

I had no idea that these lands held so many anxious fertile young women ready to bear the fruit of love and labour. That being said, I will look for the next Amia's most eligible bachelour and do the necessary introductions to make it up to you all.

Lord's blessings...

Father Karmath Hadeyes

Noticeboards of all goodly & neutral towns -Bride Wanted!

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