AMIA ARCHIVE • View topic - *Littered everywhere* Is your partner satisfied?

Is your partner satisfied?
Can't order the herbs you need at your local druid?
Depressed due to underperformance?

HAVE NO FEAR, THE ANSWER IS HERE!

New Zidamorph, the answer to all your performance woes!

Zidamorph is the new magical supplement produced by the folks at "UMD INC", a company well known around the mainland as the forefront of magical health development.

The folks at UMD are offering you this one time chance to get Zidamorph for just $10,000 gold a potion, delivered free of charge to anywhere in the realms.

Simply send the $10,000 gold enclosed in an Illthiad-proof pack"555 Con Road, Amn" and we will send the potion to you ASAP.

Buy Zidamorph today, and start performing at your MAX!

"UMD INC is a non-existant company held under the corporate group known as "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA". All funds will be given to the humantirain group known as "We Eat Humans", founded by Cheif Ark-Gaarsh of a little known orc clan. UMD INC will not be held responsible for any swelling, rashes, pigmentation changes, or orc invasions that takes place upon purchasing Zidamorph. Zidamorph is made with all natural sea water, 100% free of any artifical colours, flavours or elven manliness (such being atifical to begin with), and is given the big red tick of health. All rights reserved. Any complaints should be directed to the Cordor Council of "Don't care"."

//Yes this is a joke made by one of my PC's.

*Meriam sees this poster and busts out laughing until the tears come and his sides feel as if they are about to explode*

Wow! They got magics for everything now don't they?!

Midnight in her wondering around the realm walk. Stops at the notice, reads it carefully then barely notices the fine print. She pulls out a gem and angles over the fine print to read it. Slips it back into her cloak of many pockets.

Soft laugh of her echos "If they do succeed on this venture, I will have to find them and congratulate them for a fine job of manipulation"

The notices littering Salandra's Ground become the next best thing Weston finds to toss into one of the camp fires, thouroughly enjoying paper to burn half-wishing he could do it with some of the other paperwork he was slowly getting further behind on.

"Thank-you to the fool of this nonsense; I needed a break."

I gotta buy some of this!

*Erik runs off to send a letter to UMD INC*

*Ayla find the note and burst out laughing... * Damn good idea for a business... Why didnt I think of it before. It isn't everyone that has a personal furnace with ever lasting heat.

"Shalwyn finds the note and shakes her head* If I give it to Idan I am dead in a week.. The Seldarine keep him away from it.

"Delarwyn finds the note and giggles." Let Niss see it, I bet he will have the greatest of laughs.

"Arielle would see the note, wrinkled the nose and think.." Can it get any better?

"Lisselle sees the note and grins floating to find them" I will put it on everyone's drink.. it will be soooo great.

"Alynne finds the note. Reads it and place it back without no comment."

The notes in Bendir Dale are all cleaned up and thrown into a bonfire with jokes about tallers being unable to perform.

A short and lithe looking figure finds the note and reads it once. Her green, flowing robes, moving about in the genlte breeze. There is complete stillness then as she looks at the note once, then again, then again.

Her brow creases up in thought as she tries to make sense of it all, then, with dainty hands she puts the note back up firmly in place and talking quietly to the sleek black shape of her Panther, Nina, beside her.

'I dont understand it Nina, I have never had trouble with people under performing around -me-.'

*she gives a gentile shrug and then heads back up the road to Winya, thinking about the new elves she had met and the possiblities there. Within moments she has forgotten all about the note, a smile fixed on her lips and humming an elven lullabye happily*

Reh'Cra spots the note and starts reading with an arched brow. As he's halfway trough his keen eyes spot something, and he walks off snickering.
"Evil Genius"

Gloirin comes to read the thing
"Magic? bleh... not like me be usin' it anewaah. Nay dwarven women be 'ere."
*then he writes*
"Hey Vesad! I am look for ya! stick around if yer around!"

Solrend comes across the note.

"... ill be waitin fer the ships of moonweed t' start comin in. Should be a sight t' see as the commoners scramble fer it."

As Taelar comes across the notices in his patrols and walks through his city of Cordor he removes and destroys them except for a few tacked up on walls in each district, over which are written in huge letters the word

SCAM

He mutters occasionally to himself as he works to clean up the overly prolific notes.

Yet another example of adventurers and con men coming into our fair city and attempting to exploit their privilege as guests to make money at the expense of the people. Would that all such charlatans and thieves be removed for good.

-Slifer notices this and sends a letter replying immediately

Bastards,

I order that you desist immediately!
It is unlawful to sell the extract of my excellence without permission!

-Slifer

DolphinRacer wrote:

As Taelar comes across the notices in his patrols and walks through his city of Cordor he removes and destroys them except for a few tacked up on walls in each district, over which are written in huge letters the word

SCAM

He mutters occasionally to himself as he works to clean up the overly prolific notes.

Yet another example of adventurers and con men coming into our fair city and attempting to exploit their privilege as guests to make money at the expense of the people. Would that all such charlatans and thieves be removed for good.

*A hooded lithe figure can be seen writing on the message*

"I corrected it for you

SPAM

That's what they call it in Amn."

*A quite fashionable mage in, what 'might' look like a dress, quietly posts a note in Cordor specifically, having re-scribed the fine print in a larger, easier to read format.*

"UMD INC is a non-existant company held under the corporate group known as "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA". All funds will be given to the humantirain group known as "We Eat Humans", founded by Cheif Ark-Gaarsh of a little known orc clan. UMD INC will not be held responsible for any swelling, rashes, pigmentation changes, or orc invasions that takes place upon purchasing Zidamorph. Zidamorph is made with all natural sea water, 100% free of any artifical colours, flavours or elven manliness (such being atifical to begin with), and is given the big red tick of health. All rights reserved. Any complaints should be directed to the Cordor Council of "Don't care"."

Littered everywhere Is your partner satisfied?

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