I'd like to hear some brutally honest critiques of two of my most contrasting characters to see how they come across. I will try and make improvements if I can be offered some constructive criticism.
A good way of offering Constructive criticism is by following the few questions below.
You do not have to use the template above, but I find it most useful.
The character's I would like to hear about are,
Matthew, LG Asimar, Paladin, Dragon Rider, Divine following, ' Honor Before Reason' Tempo, CN Feytouched, Shadow Smith/ Dancer, Commander, Rogue 'All Part of the Job'
Brander, LE Human, Monk, Blackguard, 'An extra for the The Rocky Horror Picture Show'
I've provided one on each end of the spectrum plus an middle man Alignment wise.
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❤ Amia is Fun Again! ❤ #GreenisNotACreativeColour "It's easy to feel like a hero. It's a little harder to be one."
1. Tempo; Seems to be an agent of chaos, doing things just to do them to cause as much chaos as possible. Either there's some grand scheme I'm missing here or Tempo just wants to stir the pot as much as physically possible.
1. Matthew; Tries really really really hard to the point where he fucks himself over. I enjoy seeing someone stumble because of a self or deific imposed standards of behavior.
2. Tempo; Chaotic as hell, has no clear goal that I can figure out. Don't understand why 'knight commander' unless it's because of the boat captain thing in regards to build.
2. Matthew; Is actually a LG knight commander who works as a guard and is essentially a knight. Perfect.
3. Tempo; Explain the bigger picture to people you're working with. Why are you doing what you're doing? The other day you said "I hate this island" and then booked, but ALSO want to run a mission to save people, why? What is going on? It's impossible to tell what this character is thinking or doing and thus impossible to throw in with them beyond an odd job or two. I've tried meeting with you in game and you've even given me fake names sometimes but not other times. Hard to interact with you on Tempo as a result.
3. Matthew; Why do you hang out with someone who is lawful evil, when evil is measurable and quantifiable, and Matthew is capable of determining such things? It makes absolutely zero sense to me why a paladin would hang around with someone they know to be evil, someone who has evil wings on their back, revels in what they are (black dragon kin), and somehow just chills with you. I don't get how a paladin can knowingly associate or be friends with evil or work on projects together or anything else. I don't understand. This specifically relates to paladin ethics and not world ethics, paladins gotta stick to a code.
On the few times I've gotten to roleplay with you on Tempo & Matthew, I've noticed you do ". . ." a lot in roleplay and conversation, which I know everyone does, but you seem to do it a LOT and it's no big deal except that the way -I- perceive dotdotdot is that a character is either at a loss of words or perturbed/angry at something someone else said, like, "did you seriously just fucking say that?"
So to me, it seems like both Tempo and Matthew are always angry or annoyed by people lol. Please tell me how I'm wrong!
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Playing Jovianne Undon Devout of The Healer "[SocksOnFeet] Arabella Amakiir: [Talk] That girl got buns, hon. "
@ Air - Matthew 3- Why? Matthew places importance in helping others above all else as is the dictates of his God's Dogma. The character you refer to in question is a character that seeks a different path. The character in question is currently perusing a character development that Matthew helped initiate with in the character to seek a balance with in them selves and to turn away from the past. This is not often found out or known as most characters rather take the book for the Cover even when offered a chance to come speak further on it decline in favor of taunting and jeering. In the past the character in reference has done actually quite a few heroic and goodly things in order to aid Matthew. The relation ship between the two is a complex one that's been built up over a very long period of time ad consistent play. In essence Matthew is helping him try to achieve the path of balance that he now seeks to follow.
Matthew the character most often takes 'projects' of the vile or 'evil' to heart and seeks to 'corrupt' the baddies in to good guys.
Matthew's preferred method in doing so is to earn trust, sympathy and disarm them with a sense of friendship or kindness. He tend st show compassion and consideration offering a chance to help them rather than kill them... He typically tries to find if something is causing the reason they choose to behave in such a manner and will offer countless suggestions and guidance or advice.
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❤ Amia is Fun Again! ❤ #GreenisNotACreativeColour "It's easy to feel like a hero. It's a little harder to be one."
On the few times I've gotten to roleplay with you on Tempo & Matthew, I've noticed you do ". . ." a lot in roleplay and conversation, which I know everyone does, but you seem to do it a LOT and it's no big deal except that the way -I- perceive dotdotdot is that a character is either at a loss of words or perturbed/angry at something someone else said, like, "did you seriously just fucking say that?"
So to me, it seems like both Tempo and Matthew are always angry or annoyed by people lol. Please tell me how I'm wrong!
Typically " . . . " Is used for denoting time passing or the character falling silent and observing what's going on. When the character's get annoyed or angry I lie to give them distance flavors of colorful words. Silence is more a pausing not quite writing what the character might be thinking off but denoting also they are paying attention. It could be in conjuration with anger but not all the time I'll cut back on my " . . . "
_________________
❤ Amia is Fun Again! ❤ #GreenisNotACreativeColour "It's easy to feel like a hero. It's a little harder to be one."
On the few times I've gotten to roleplay with you on Tempo & Matthew, I've noticed you do ". . ." a lot in roleplay and conversation, which I know everyone does, but you seem to do it a LOT and it's no big deal except that the way -I- perceive dotdotdot is that a character is either at a loss of words or perturbed/angry at something someone else said, like, "did you seriously just fucking say that?"
So to me, it seems like both Tempo and Matthew are always angry or annoyed by people lol. Please tell me how I'm wrong!
^ This. It comes across the same to me as well.
Matthew, I feel, tries far too hard to do what -he- feels is the right thing, and yes, it does cause him problems. There have been certain IC incidents where it seems he's forced himself into situations that others have asked him to remain out of (Rith'tar's demon thing, where Matthew decided to help against Rith'tar's expressed wishes), or in his capacity as a Cordor Guard, where some have felt that he overstepped his authority to the point his LG alignment should have stopped him (i.e.: exaggeration of charges or in some cases, completely false ones). It is never easy to play a paladin, as they are held to such a higher code of conduct than other classes, but I think that for the most part you've done a fine job with Matthew.
I mean, you asked for opinions. I gave some to you. Don't want to argue about it.
No argument- thought you had a question about it as it was posed with a '?' tone. Thought that meant you sought explanation, and thus I offered. I appreciate the commonest though.
_________________
❤ Amia is Fun Again! ❤ #GreenisNotACreativeColour "It's easy to feel like a hero. It's a little harder to be one."
On the few times I've gotten to roleplay with you on Tempo & Matthew, I've noticed you do ". . ." a lot in roleplay and conversation, which I know everyone does, but you seem to do it a LOT and it's no big deal except that the way -I- perceive dotdotdot is that a character is either at a loss of words or perturbed/angry at something someone else said, like, "did you seriously just fucking say that?"
So to me, it seems like both Tempo and Matthew are always angry or annoyed by people lol. Please tell me how I'm wrong!
This! Hah! Though I can only recall one scene in which I noticed this, I definitely wasn't sure what to make of the scene afterwards. It was when my character encountered Brander and one other in the arena, purely by chance. And he watched, and learned-- and learned really cool things. Then I stepped in, Brander performed the beginning of his pitch, and then learned that it wasn't needed. I dunno-- this might all be sounding very specific, but the way it ended up I ended up walking away feeling like I was a douche somehow. It felt like Brander reacted extremely negatively to my character's presence, or that in a way I interrupted and was unwelcome in what was going on beforehand.
It might have been just emotes, or it might have been actually that Brander was genuinely disinterested in interacting with my character. I admit, I was really excited at the time because I wasn't expecting us to have the same things in common, and I got all giddy. And then I felt super out of place or unwelcome, and that's my least favorite feeling.
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As for Tempo, honestly, all I really have to say is good things. I don't interact that often with her, not as much as I might like. But she's enigmatic- and most importantly, she's actively getting things done. I hear about her all the time, and the things she's doing-- and that's friggin' cool.
Please don't take this as the wrong way, but in a way I feel like Tempo is kind of like Krin Tarvencia. Krin, to me, is an enigmatic figure who believes so much in himself and what he's doing that he often ends up at odds with other characters. Some people maybe don't like that (I know my characters often don't!), but as a player I looooove it. Whenever I see Krin pop online I know that if I could find him, I'd find a source of conflict. Not cheesy conflict, but just... Krin's persona crashing against people who usually don't have their opinions or way of life argued with, because they're surrounded by like-minded people.
So that's how I'm beginning to view Tempo, as a kind of enigmatic, personality-based conflict starter. And I think it's amazing, and we don't have enough of it, and it's something I just can't do very well.
i'd rename this character observations, critique requires more intimate knowledge than people tend to get of other pcs unless they're adequately exposed to one another. critique also tries to measure the undefined aspect of what is "right" to do.
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