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Gardeners of Life
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Author:  Teufel Eldritch [ Mon, Sep 14 2009, 16:19 PM ]
Post subject:  Gardeners of Life
I was browsing thru the Candlekeep files earlier & came across this. I know, I know it is not canon Amia lore but it gave me a good laugh.

Quote:
Chauntea – Gardeners of Life (LG)

- These monks have the largest and most well tended gardens in all of Faerun. Many grow produce that townspeople cannot find anywhere else. They often sell their goods at very low prices to promote Chauntea's generosity.
- Cannot multiclass. Receives +5 circumstance bonus to all knowledge (plant) and craft (gardening) checks. Can use fruits and vegetables as weapons. Most common are carrots (treat as Kamas), and tomatoes (treat as Shurikens). These weapons can only do lethal damage to evil beings or those who somehow hurt the earth. Fruit and vegetable weapons obtain the Ki Strike ability as the monk levels.


Carrots & tomatoes as weapons? OMG! That's awesome! :lol:
Author:  HellScourge [ Mon, Sep 14 2009, 16:24 PM ]
Post subject: 
Fear the vegetable!

I shall smite you with my carrot stick!
Not if my horse can prevent this!
Noo! It ate my weapon!
Mahahaaaa!


Any other puns related to it? I am waiting.
Author:  IronAngel [ Mon, Sep 14 2009, 16:28 PM ]
Post subject: 
That article is one of the most horrible pieces of junk on Candlekeep. It's not even amusing, like the dialogue between Tymora, Mystra and (I think) Sune. >_>
Author:  colanah [ Mon, Sep 14 2009, 16:29 PM ]
Post subject: 
That sounds like an awesome addition to nature oriented classes. Two thumbs up and a big toe too!

Though can anyone else see vine fruits and vegetables as nunchucks or flail weapons?

Death by pineapple comes to mind. OOOOOOH!

Mrs. Doubtfire "It was a drive by fruiting"!!!
Author:  Dev Disco [ Mon, Sep 14 2009, 16:33 PM ]
Post subject: 
... tomatoes? That hurts my sense of history.
Author:  555444333 [ Mon, Sep 14 2009, 16:58 PM ]
Post subject: 
Maaan. It's all about using Axiomatic Strike with a Cucumber on your Enemies Ass! :o ;)
Author:  Gravemaskin [ Mon, Sep 14 2009, 17:28 PM ]
Post subject: 
Yus I have one of Chauntea! Using the rotten tomatoes shuriken thing, and mythalled them to "giant fresh tomatoes".

Was going to bend a carrot and call it a Kama, but I decided against it <.<
Author:  Nekhy [ Mon, Sep 14 2009, 17:57 PM ]
Post subject: 
Nice. Someone's been spying on the militant wing of the vegan revolution, where they teach activists how to make WMD's out of beans and onions.
Author:  Amarice-Elaraliel [ Mon, Sep 14 2009, 18:03 PM ]
Post subject: 
I remember one of my first LARP Cons.

We sat by the campfire, it was dark already and we were in the woods. We were just about to make dinner when some Shadows attacked us. And one of my group got startled and tossed a potatoe at the closest "shadow" which even gave a nice "aow!"

Seems she had hit quite well too. XD
Author:  MoshingChris [ Mon, Sep 14 2009, 19:48 PM ]
Post subject: 
Nekhy wrote:
Nice. Someone's been spying on the militant wing of the vegan revolution, where they teach activists how to make WMD's out of beans and onions.


Castor Beans.
Author:  AlphaWaves [ Mon, Sep 14 2009, 19:57 PM ]
Post subject: 
I can't help but have visions of these monks torturing with turnips, pelting with potatoes, clouting with cauliflower, perforating with peppers, . . You get the picture
Author:  Yurell [ Tue, Sep 15 2009, 0:15 AM ]
Post subject: 
Dev Disco wrote:
... tomatoes? That hurts my sense of history.


They're exotic even in FR.
Author:  AlphaWaves [ Tue, Sep 15 2009, 0:49 AM ]
Post subject: 
Yurell wrote:
Dev Disco wrote:
... tomatoes? That hurts my sense of history.


They're exotic even in FR.


There's plenty of rancid ones n southy to lob at naughty people.


Though, exotic to one place might be vernacular to another.
Author:  Gunz [ Tue, Sep 15 2009, 0:54 AM ]
Post subject: 
Hah.

That's all I can say.
Author:  Yurell [ Tue, Sep 15 2009, 2:57 AM ]
Post subject: 
I believe tomatoes come from Maztica (according to Auroras anyway), meaning that unless a mage cast a spell like Gentle Repose (very expensive), the only way to really get them elsewhere would be in their dried or pickled form.
Author:  LordAzack [ Tue, Sep 15 2009, 3:15 AM ]
Post subject: 
You people have it all wrong...
They eat beans, then kill with the noxious fumes of fart!
Author:  FA_Frey_XC [ Tue, Sep 15 2009, 9:04 AM ]
Post subject: 
What amazed me more was that people actually thought it was COOL and wanted to add them.

I mean... FFS people.. MONKS AND CARROTS DO NOT MIX.

*sigh*

Regards,
Author:  Yurell [ Tue, Sep 15 2009, 9:06 AM ]
Post subject: 
FA_Frey_XC wrote:
What amazed me more was that people actually thought it was COOL and wanted to add them.

I mean... FFS people.. MONKS AND CARROTS DO NOT MIX.

*sigh*

Regards,


It sounds utterly stupid tbh.
Author:  Nekhy [ Tue, Sep 15 2009, 9:26 AM ]
Post subject: 
FA_Frey_XC wrote:
What amazed me more was that people actually thought it was COOL and wanted to add them.

I mean... FFS people.. MONKS AND CARROTS DO NOT MIX.

*sigh*

Regards,


This makes it sound like you think monks and potatoes are the better option.

I'd go for pumpkins, though. Hurts much more when it hits you. Especially those little ones.
Author:  Selvec Darkon [ Tue, Sep 15 2009, 9:35 AM ]
Post subject: 
The answer of "No" comes to mind.

Followed by the answer of

Fuck No!
Author:  FA_Frey_XC [ Tue, Sep 15 2009, 10:20 AM ]
Post subject: 
Nekhy wrote:
This makes it sound like you think monks and potatoes are the better option.

I'd go for pumpkins, though. Hurts much more when it hits you. Especially those little ones.


LOL how about Blueberries for calthrops then?

*snicker*

Naw, it was more like ... Monks and Fruit and Vegetables don't mix!

:D

Regards,
Author:  Sylfwe [ Tue, Sep 15 2009, 17:59 PM ]
Post subject: 
:shock:

Don't waste food for weapons, feed the poor!
Author:  Terra_777 [ Tue, Sep 15 2009, 18:06 PM ]
Post subject: 
Man. Now I wanna do a invisible blade using a sharp carrot. 8)
Author:  Yurell [ Tue, Sep 15 2009, 22:10 PM ]
Post subject: 
I fail to see how tomatoes could possibly be as strong as shurikens, or carrots as kamas.
Author:  IronAngel [ Tue, Sep 15 2009, 22:19 PM ]
Post subject: 
It's Ki, dude.
Author:  Yurell [ Tue, Sep 15 2009, 22:33 PM ]
Post subject: 
IronAngel wrote:
It's Ki, dude.


So why aren't you using this ki to make your already existing stuff stronger? Your fingers are harder than a carrot, so you should be able to use them like kamas.
Author:  IronAngel [ Tue, Sep 15 2009, 22:44 PM ]
Post subject: 
Well, you do apply Ki like that. That's what increased Unarmed damage and Ki Strike are.

The Monk's discipline is primarily spiritual, not martial. If they went for what was effective, they'd be wielding much deadlier weapons across the board. To wield the gifts of Chauntea is a dogmatic choice, unrelated to the practicality of the philosophy.

That, if you wanted to be serious about it. It's just silly homebrew stuff, though.
Author:  QPR [ Tue, Sep 15 2009, 23:21 PM ]
Post subject: 
If we are going to be serious about stuff, a Heavy Crossbow would be the most feared weapon out there.
Author:  Yurell [ Wed, Sep 16 2009, 1:14 AM ]
Post subject: 
QPR wrote:
If we are going to be serious about stuff, a Heavy Crossbow would be the most feared weapon out there.


Not when a monk (or anyone with the Deflect Arrows feat) can just knock it away ... you'd want something that fires more often than once a round.
Author:  TormakSaber [ Wed, Sep 16 2009, 1:15 AM ]
Post subject: 
Repeating Heavy Crossbow, then, with Rapid Reload.
Author:  Yurell [ Wed, Sep 16 2009, 1:17 AM ]
Post subject: 
So magic :D
Author:  Selvec Darkon [ Wed, Sep 16 2009, 2:01 AM ]
Post subject: 
Or, Duel Wield Dart Repeating Crossbows.

It exists. Common in the underdark.
Author:  Yurell [ Wed, Sep 16 2009, 2:09 AM ]
Post subject: 
Selvec Darkon wrote:
Or, Duel Wield Dart Repeating Crossbows.

It exists. Common in the underdark.


Aye, a lighter crossbow could do it. But no firing carrots :P
Author:  Selvec Darkon [ Wed, Sep 16 2009, 2:13 AM ]
Post subject: 
Yurell wrote:
Selvec Darkon wrote:
Or, Duel Wield Dart Repeating Crossbows.

It exists. Common in the underdark.


Aye, a lighter crossbow could do it. But no firing carrots :P


Shoot 'em Up stole the idea from DnD!
Author:  FA_Frey_XC [ Wed, Sep 16 2009, 2:18 AM ]
Post subject: 
and we're not spamming?

LOL

Regards,
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